The Truth In a Song
by Beige Flicka
Summary: Talent Night on Crash and Alec sings a song that makes Max wonder things, but as he leaves before she gets a chance to talk to him, she realizes that he is in fact.. Leaving. Au-ish and maybe M/A. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note;**** I thought of this story when I was at work and listening to some music, it was supposed to be something utterly fluffy, but when I came home I changed the song and it became something else and also a bit longer than first planned. This story is complete in two chapters. **

**I own nothing but the poem Sketchy recites, the song belongs to Staind is called "Pardon Me"**

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**The Truth In a Song**

It wasn't a normal night at the Crash, for some unknown reason to Max and the rest, it was Talent Night, so anyone who dared to take the scene and woo the crowd were in her opinion; crazy. One of those people was of course Sketchy and he was quoting some poetry or something that was surprisingly very deep.

"_..Mysteries and tragedies,_

_It's all what we've got._

_Misery and death,_

_it's everything we're not._

_Passion and despair,_

_the things won't blend._

_Hatred and confusing,_

_walking hand in hand.."_

It was a weird poem and Sketchy lacked the knowledge of how to bring the feelings into his words, but he didn't seem to care and nor did the audience who all cheered and clapped their hands after he bowed, Jam Pony respected their co-workers and it was obvious that it was them who cheered him on. The others? They simply shook their heads and smiled at the tall weird looking guy.

"Damn Sketch, that was kinda deep, you wrote it?"

"Thanks Max and uhm, yeah, I did.."

"Sketch, you fool, if you lyin.."

".. No Cindy, of course not! I wrote it as practice for my job as a journalist, just didn't think people would wanna .. or I don't know, I mean, I might win tonight!"

"Don't listen to Cindy, she's just jealous that no one reads poetry to her, you were good, okay?"

"Good's not gonna make me win though, I need some extra cash."

"In that case, I'm buying us some beer!"

Max was for once in a very good mood, she almost felt like the girl she used to be, maybe even more carefree. She wasn't surprised that the only reason that got Sketchy up on the stage was cash, hell she'd do it to and she'd win without a problem. Only she didn't want to, she didn't see the point of it all and she had enough cash to get buy for a couple of months now, thanks to a heist she'd done, stealing a diamond necklace and fenced it for a pretty penny. Nothing she'd let Logan know, he wouldn't approve.

Feeling her good mood falter a bit, she placed her order for a pitcher of beer and made sure the barkeeper gave her the real deal and nothing that looked like beer but tasted like shit. While she waited for it to arrive, she decided to read the list of who were to perform tonight. The only rule they had on Talent Night was that you'd let the workers of Crash know that you wanted to perform, if too little people showed interested, well, what point was there to have a Talent Night if there weren't that much Talent to show?

She almost didn't notice the pitcher of beer being placed in front of her, to surprised to find Alec's name on the list. _What's he up to now?_

"Hey, I ain't got all night, pay up!"

"Chill, man and just cause of that, no tip."

"Yeah, as if you could've afford to tip me, sweety."

"Don't call me 'sweety' and yeah, paying a good tip isn't a problem, your attitude is."

Max took the pitcher and left, but not before giving the barkeeper the finger. He was new and she promised herself that she would find a way for him to know that you didn't call Max anything but her name. Once arriving at the table, she found the reason of earlier surprise sitting with Sketchy and Original Cindy.

"Hey, Alec. Didn't know you were gonna perform tonight?"

He sighed heavily and looked around awkwardly.

"I didn't sign up, Normal did and I swear his obsession with me is getting creepy, he's trying to make me sing this stupid _ballad,_ but I refused so he threatened with firing me."

"As if he'd fire you, he freaking adore you, man."

"Sketchy, trust me, he was serious about it."

"You know, I could always have a talk with him, but I had my nails fixed earlier so.."

"Thanks, Cindy, but don't worry, I got a plan."

"Alec, I swear to God, I'm not getting you a new job and you're not going back to the ring either!"

"Whoa, chill, Max! I'm just gonna sing another song, I'm gonna play the guitar too, so it's not like I have to tell '_the band'_ to change the beat or anything. It's my call."

Okay, so now Max good mood was definitely falling, because when Alec made his plans? They were bound to make her clean his act up and she wasn't really in the mood of sing a duet or playing the drums. The thought of leaving Crash to hear later from Cindy what happened was really tempting. Really.

Not that there was a lot to do at home, she'd left her pager on her bed so if anything, she was bound to her it go off every five minutes. Sometimes she wondered what Logan was thinking with, it couldn't be his upstairs brain, nor his downstairs brain, maybe there's a third? _He does make a lot pasta so maybe his brain is in his stomach? _Mentally shaking those thoughts away, she concentrated back on the conversation.

"So you play the guitar? Since when?"

"Just a thing I picked up, I used to play the piano as well, but I can't bring myself around to do it anymore and besides a guitar is easier to bring with you when you're camping."

"You like camping?"

"Not really, but still."

Max snorted and started to listen to the poor girl up on the stage, she was singing very off-key and the worst part was the she actually thought she could sing. Once finished, the entire Crash became deathly silent and only then did the girl realize how bad she was as she hurried of the stage.

"Well, I guess this means it's my turn, wish me luck."

A choirs of Good luck was heard and Max really wished him good luck, because if he got fired, he'd loose his sector pass and there was no way for them to get a new one. Plus, she wasn't going to baby sit him or give him a place to stay. She didn't like him that much, Original Cindy was wrong.

The sound of a guitar started and everyone stared at the stage as Alec started to sing softly. The song was painful and Max felt every word he sang, unlike Sketchy, Alec knew how to use his words and his voice as well.

_I'm one stop from a breakdown, _

_Two steps from being safe, _

_Just try to see this through, _

Hearing him sing about being so close to a breakdown made her wanna hit him, how dare he even think of being close to one? When she was the one who had freed everyone? If any one was close to a freaking breakdown, it was Max and not Alec.

_I'm three steps from this nightmare, _

_And four steps from the door, _

_The rest is up to you, _

You didn't need to be a genius to understand that Alec was singing about himself, but Max couldn't help but feel a little bit selfish, did he have nightmares? She had seen him sometimes look too tired for his own good, but never bothered to ask and she instantly regretted it.

_Pardon me while I just turn my back and walk away,_

_Pardon me if I can't listen to the things you say,_

_Pardon me if I can't fake it while you still believe, _

_Pardon me,_

Max felt a bit worried, was he really thinking about leaving her? Scratch that, leaving them? She didn't need him, but the others needed him, she'd find a way to survive without him, no problem, right?

_I'm one step from forgiveness, _

_And two steps from my grave,_

_We're all just passing through,_

So yeah, they did face death a lot these days, but what did he mean by 'two steps from my grave'? Max tilted her head to her side and tried her best to read Alec's face as he kept singing. Had he received a death-threat he hadn't told her about? Was he thinking of suicide? What the hell was he trying to tell her?

_Three steps from redemption, _

_Four from the Devil's door,_

_On a path that leads to you, _

When he sang about the Devil, Max couldn't help but think about Lydecker and wondered who played the Devil in Alec's world, was it Renfro or someone she didn't even know? Alec stared her right in the eye as he sang the chorus again, it was almost like he wanted to show how serious he was with the song and what it was about. Only Max wasn't so sure.

_Pardon me while I just turn my back and walk away,_

_Pardon me if I can't listen to the things you say,_

_Pardon me if I can't fake it while you still believe, _

_Pardon me,_

He started to play the guitar and he definitely had talent, Max felt goosebumps all over her body as he started to repeat the chorus again. She was now sure that he was in fact serious about the words, what she didn't understand however was what he was faking, or maybe that wasn't something important from the song? But the way he kept his eyes trained on her while singing told her something else. Every. Word. Meant. Something. So what was he_ faking? _His feelings? He did keep mentioning the word 'you' and.. was he singing about her as well?

_Pardon me while I just turn my back and walk away,_

_Pardon me if I can't listen to the things you say,_

_Pardon me if I can't fake it while you still believe, _

_Pardon me,_

After singing the chorus twice, Max knew what he was trying to convey, he really was leaving them, but why?

_I'm two steps from salvation, _

_But I'm only taking one,_

_Pardon me.._

As the song came to an end, Max realized also that this was his way of saying he was sorry, all the 'pardon me' in the song made it pretty obvious. But what exactly was he sorry for? Max had forgiven him for messing the cure up, he wasn't really the big screw up as he used to be.

Everyone in Crash started to cheer, everyone had been captivated by his song and when the song had finally come to and end, it was like a wakeup call as everyone screamed and clapped their hands. It was really something, but when Max noticed that Alec had quickly left the stage, she felt worry creeping up her spine.

She thought back to the line 'Pardon me while I just turn my back and walk away.' He had done just that, walked away without saying something. Someone announced that the winner was Alec, but when he didn't collect his reward, they gave it to Sketchy instead. For being so deep and brave they'd told him, but Max wasn't listening, she was leaving to find Alec.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note;**** Sorry for all the spelling errors and such in the previous chapter, I was a bit too eager to post the chapter and didn't double check it, this one however is double checked.. So if there's any error in this chapter, it's.. An error, lol ;)**

**Pardon Me If I Can't Fake It**

Finding Alec, had been like looking after a needle in a haystack, impossible until you lit the haystack on fire and the only thing remaing was the needle. She had looked everywhere, starting with his home, nothing there had been touched and the only thing that calmed her down a little bit was seeing his blue towel on the floor. But then again, they were solider, they could survive without such luxury and so she had gone to every strip club, every bar, every something that made her think Alec would be there. But he wasn't.

If she only had lit the haystack in the first place. Feeling defeated, Max had taken her bike for a ride and gone to the Space Needle to clear her mind. And there he was, sitting by the edge, as if waiting for her and maybe even mockingly too. This was her spot and nothing about this place screamed Alec.

Next time she was gonna torch the haystack and to hell with the needle as well, she'd liquefy it and and drink it, do something to always keep it with her. _Okay, I'm going insane! _After all, the needle she'd been looking for had been Alec and she wasn't a cannibal. He was safe, for now.

She sauntered over to sit down next to him and only then did she see the bag lying next to him.

"So you're leaving?"

"That's what I said, didn't I?"

"Uhm, no.. You _sang_ it, there's a difference."

"Yeah, well you got the message."

"Why haven't you left yet?"

"You just can't wait to get rid of me, can you?!"

"Alec, I've been looking _all over_ for you and I find you up here? What's the deal?"

"I wanted to see the sunrise before I left, I realized I've never allowed myself to do that, ever."

"So this isn't you waiting for me …?"

"For you? Why'd I wait for you? It's not like you care about me. Hell, Max, just admit that the search you did tonight was just to make sure I didn't do anything stupid!"

"You're right and guess what? You are making something stupid!"

"I'm leaving you, aren't I? That's what you wanted all along, right?"

"What? No!"

"You know what, just forget it. I'm going, there's always a sunrise tomorrow."

Alec stood up, but didn't move and for a moment she thought he was going to say something more, but heard him sigh and started to leave. She felt frozen. Her good mood was nowhere in sight and she couldn't help but wonder if that feeling had been fake.

"What did you mean that you 'can't fake this while you still believe'?"

She didn't hear anything and she didn't dare to look over her shoulder. She knew she was denying feelings and maybe feelings she had for him too, but too actually see him gone? She couldn't allow herself to see that and so she waited to her his bike down below speeding away. Apparently he'd parked somewhere else, as she hadn't seen it when she'd arrived. But when no sound of an engine came..

"I'm tired, Max."

Startled, Max turned around and looked at Alec. Had he even left? Had he stayed and held his breath? She was sure he'd gone, but maybe she wasn't such a good solider after all? Which is good, because she didn't want to be one either, but still.. She wanted to be able to keep track of her people, of Alec.

He sat down next to her, only closer this time. The bag was left by the broken window they used as a door to the platform. He looked conflicted, like he was trying to make up his mind.

"I took that song because it felt real, it hit a spot or what ever you wanna call it."

"Is that your answer to my question?"

"No, it's not."

"Then what is?"

"I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not."

"Then what are you?"

"Right now? Nothing, but I want to change that, I don't wanna play games anymore, Max."

Alec was talking about pretending to be her boyfriend in front of Logan, she wasn't surprised that he was tired of it, it couldn't be fun to act as you were in a serious relationship with someone who treated him as badly as she did.

"I'm sorry, Alec. We'll just 'fake' a breakup.."

"..See that's the thing, let's just 'fake' a breakup? There's nothing to breakup!"

"Okay, now you're just confusing me."

"Then forget it, it was nice to know you, Max Guevara."

Alec got up to leave again, this time not bothering with a pause by her side, but this time Max was prepared and she stood up as well and walked with him, she wasn't sure why she wanted to give him company, but she couldn't stay up on the Needle either.

The closer to ground level they came, the thicker the tension grew and taking the stairs didn't make it that much easier, the decent was slow and each step was like a tiny stab in her feet. She wasn't sure she was going to make it all the way, it hurt to much knowing that she soon had to say goodbye to someone she cared for. Only four steps left and then a door to the outside world and he'd be gone.

"Alec?"

Her voice surprised her just as much as him, it had only been a soft whisper. They both stopped, she was one step behind and when he turned around, their eyes were at the same height. There also weren't a lot of space between them, their chests were almost touching.

"Yeah?"

"Where will you go?"

"Anywhere, somewhere, just away from here."

Even though they were whispering, it was enough to echo, it was unnerving hearing their voices carried away so easily, given the fact how hard it was to form them in the first place. Max was truly scared and she didn't scare easy. She didn't bother hiding it for him, she wanted him to see her.

"How will you get by?"

"I'll get a job, something easy I guess."

"Where will you live?"

"As long as it's got walls, ceiling and floor, I'm good."

"What about Joshua?"

"I already talked to him, did it before Crash, he understands, doesn't like it though."

"I agree with him."

"Max.."

"Don't 'Max' me, I don't want you to go, okay?"

"I've already made up my mind, I have to do this."

"Why?"

That simple question made it look like the hardest of them all, a simple 'why' made Alec look troubled and silent and he didn't even look her in the eye, instead focused on a spot over her shoulder, something unseen but a lot more interesting than her eyes.

After what felt like five minutes, but in truth was only 30 seconds, Alec still hadn't answered, simply staring at that something behind her. A heavy sigh escaped her lips, as she did it she felt her chest press up against his for a short second, it felt weird knowing that soon he'd be gone.

No reaction came from Alec of her sigh and she wanted to cry, she was tired of losing everything and everyone. Leaning forward and resting her forehead on his shoulder, placing her hands on his hips, as if about to hug him but not daring being rejected, Max tried her best to collect her thoughts.

It didn't take a second for Alec to react this time, as his arms went around her waist and he buried his face in her hair, inhaling deeply. Max raised her head and moved her arms to place them around his neck, hugging him closer. She tried her best to not let any tears fall, but it was useless. For the first time in her life, did Max feel like she had truly failed and this was it.

Pulling back a bit, she was greeted by tired eyes and a fake smile.

"Goodbye-hug, Max? Didn't think you had it in you."

So he was trying to make it easier with jokes? Well tough luck, she was tired of joking!

"Stay, Alec, please."

"Why?"

There was that difficult question again, only this time she had an answer, unlike him.

"I need you, Alec."

"You've got Logan."

"I have no one."

"You've got Original Cindy."

"She's my best friend and sister."

"You've got Joshua."

"And I love him, but none of them are you and I need you"

They were still hugging each other, as if it was normal to them to stand like this in a staircase.

"Max, you're just having a small panic attack. You'll survive without me, hell it'll be better to survive with out me."

"Don't say that."

"But it's true, right?"

"It used to be true, but not anymore and you know I'm right."

At this, Alec tried to pull away completely, but Max wouldn't release him. Even if he could've escaped with out a problem, Alec didn't bother and instead let her pull him closer again.

"I'd go crazy without you around, you're the only one who understands everything I've been through and you've been through worse. I'm sorry I've been such a bitch to you, but.. It's who I am. I can't change, not that much."

"I wouldn't want you to change, Maxie."

"Don't call me that."

"I'll always call you that, so get used to it."

"Does that mean you're staying?"

"No."

"Alec.."

"Listen, I can't stay and I'm sorry for putting you in this position.."

"Then stay!"

"I can't, it's not that simple."

"Then make it simple!"

"You want me to make it simple for you, so that I can stay?"

"Yeah!"

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be? Just make everything more simple for you, I'll help if I have to."

And how cliché was it really? She was actually shocked when she felt him kiss him and seeing as how long ago she even had a kiss, she eagerly returned it, for a while anyway. Pushing him away, she tried her best to look pissed off, but by the look on Alec's face, she was failing, but she didn't care.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"You wanted me to make things simple, so I did."

"By kissing me?"

"Are you retarded or something? I have _feelings_ for you!"

"Oh.. "

"Yeah, well.. Until you have anything better to say, do you mind if I kiss you again?"

Not waiting for a reply, Alec kissed her again, this time there was a hint of panic behind it, as if he thought that once Max came back to her senses, she'd push him away and tell him to get the hell out of sight, but she was kissing him back, pulling him closer and running her fingers through his hair.

"Don't. Go."

"Won't."

"Good."

And just like that, Max good mood had returned again, only ten times stronger and even though Alec had sung a different song then the one Normal had requested, he knew he wouldn't get fired. Not that he was thinking about that, finally having Max in his arms, like he had wanted for so long.

Just when things started to get really heated, Max pulled away, making Alec moan in protest.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, lets just go back up and watch that sunrise and then go home and sleep."

Alec smirked, he hadn't even thought about the sunrise, but the idea of watching it with Max sounded, well, nice.

"One condition."

"What?"

"We sleep in my bed, it's bigger."

"Deal."

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**Authors Note;**** So.. Cheesy ending maybe? ;) And here's the usual Thank-you-for-reviewing-list! You're the best! And so.. Thanks you; "", "AlecDeanFan", "bob0045", "blubblubblubblub", "Mrs Max McDowell", "diesdi"**


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